For most people, embryo adoption represents the last possible stage of assisted reproduction. Usually couples start trying Artificial insemination, then they try IVFs, sometimes IVFs with eggs or sperm donor… and if everything doesn’t work out, at the very end, they opt for adopting embryos.
We have chosen to move towards embryo adoption from the very beginning. In this post I will expose why.
What is our main fertility problem?
Our main problem is an important male infertility factor.
My husband’s diagnosis is: severe oligoospermia combined with total asthenozoospermia (none of his sperm moves even slightly) and also severe teratozoospermia (the number of abnormal sperm in his semen is much higher than the average). So, most of the doctors we visited said it would be really difficult to conceive with his sperm.
Also our Reproductive doctors suggested that maybe the only possible shot to have our biological child it could be a: IVF + ICSI + DGP
After processing the diagnosis and the possible treatment. We evaluated all the possible solutions. We consulted different fertility experts. And we were lucky enough to find the most honest advisor. A male fertility researcher was really clear, with a IVF+ICSI+DGP we only had between 5% to 7% chance to have our biological baby.
Did we do anything to improve my partner’s sperm quality and quantity?
Yes, but in our case was quite difficult. Because all the test my husband took were ok. So any doctor could find the reason why his sperm was so bad. He took Antioxidants, the famous Maca, Chinese herbs and supplements and, even, he tried acupuncture … and anything worked on him.
Why we did not try a IVF+ICSI+DGP?
From the very beginning both of us agreed we did not want to try an IVF + ICSI + DGP with so little chance of success. The cost of trying this option was really high financially but also emotionally.
How did we accept that biological children would not be a reality for us?
I will be really sincere. The first weeks were quite devastating. I cried a lot. But then we value that life has given so much to us so far. We love a lot one each other. Our families are healthy. We love what we do. We travel and we enjoy living so much.
This little detail it would not be something important on our way to start a family. We knew it was time for us to close that door and move forward to a new challenge: adopt our embryo. Its a kind of mourning process. You say goodbye to a dream but you say hello to a new one.
I always wanted to adopt. Even we informed us about how to adopt internationally, but when we knew about the Embryo adoption, we knew immediatly that this program was meant for us.
Are we sorry that our children will not have our genes?
Not at all. After you close one door you open a new one and you do not think about the first door anymore. We are excited about this new path and we can not see the moment to start the treatment.
Also, the last two years life has teached so much to us. We have learned about our health, about fertility, about nutrition, about science … I would not change that. Infertility has changed ourselves in a lot of ways. Today we are better than we were before.
At the same time we are closer than ever as a couple. This journey just make us realize how much we love one each other and how much we want to have a family.
Are we going to tell our children how they were adopted?
Of course. We are going to reach a specialist before telling them. But our intention is transmit that this situation is a normal one. That adopt an embryo is a normal choice and they are fruit of our love and our desire to have a family and make that love grow even more. We are sure that if we assume this situation as normal for us. It will be normal and accepted for them.